New kit for Wales...and it's red!

Just to prove that I am impartial, fair and balanced...

THIS LOOKS BLOODY AWFUL:



(or "Mae'n ofnadwy" as 19% of the population of Wales might say)

Hooorah!

It’s official. Stuart Lancaster = good egg.

Despite pressure from the RFU bean counters and the recent unveiling of a red and white striped “Battle of the Roses” change kit, Lancaster has vowed that, for this season at least, England will wear white.

“...for this year when we are trying to build an identity, it pays to play in white,” says Lancaster.

Quite right. And it should not only be for this year.

Lancaster gets it. When do the All Blacks ever wear anything other than black? Only when they are forced to. The result is that the black shirt has become iconic in its own right, with minimal design changes down the years reinforcing its status as a commercial asset.

Contrast that with the myriad of designs undergone by the England kit during the Nike era. The latest Canterbury version, with minimal tinkering, is a step in the right direction.

All we need now is to lose the bloody O2 logo.

Getting shirty (again)

I should have known.

With a new change kit only announced weeks ago it was only a matter of time before England also launched a new home kit, a full 12 months after the last one.

I know the bean counters at the RFU approve, but do we really need a new kit every season?

Thankfully, it only being 5 minutes or so since they designed the last one, the designers at Canterbury have barely managed to do anything other than sew a navy (sorry, midnight blue) strip onto the end of each sleeve.

Meanwhile, there appears to have been a massive breakdown in communication between the RFU and England Rugby’s official ambassador for children's rugby, Ruckley the bulldog.

Ruckley may have "boundless energy, bucketloads of enthusiasm and an endless love of rugby" but he is distinctly off-message in the kit department.

Has he refused to wear the new kit? In times of austerity is he standing up for the little people who simply cannot afford to contribute a penny more to the ruthless RFU merchandising machine? Or is he just a bit thick?

I think we should be told.

At least it's not purple

Another season, another blatant and shameless attempt by the RFU to extort yet more money from English rugby fans.

Yes, it's that time of year again and here it is, another entirely pointless "away" kit that no doubt will be worn at Twickenham this Autumn to avoid a non-existent colour clash with someone or other.

As for the usual self-justifying guff, apparently it's all part of a new '1871 Collection' inspired by the iconic ‘The Battle of the Roses' painting from the late 19th century and is designed to reflect the rich heritage, style and tradition of England Rugby, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah...

The Burning Question...?

Here’s what I’ve been wondering...

Billy Twelvetrees has now been called up to the Lions squad, joining the likes of Alex Corbisiero, Ryan Grant and Simon Zebo who have all flown out from distant places to join the squad in Oz. The burning question is this - where does he pick up his Lions stash and how does he get kitted out in official blazer, shirt, tie, trousers etc?

As the picture shows, Twelvetrees has already posed in a Lions shirt. Does that mean every potential replacement Lion has been issued with kit or did they all share the same shirt for the photo? Or has Billy just popped out to the local Sports Direct in Buenos Aries armed with a fistful of pesos?

Take Alex Corbisiero. When he was called up last week he spent 40 odd hours on a flight and yet arrived at Brisbane airport last week already dressed in Lions polo shirt etc – ok, not too difficult to imagine that he ordered an XXL but the question is where did he pick it up? And the following day he was pictured in the stands at the Queensland match looking very dapper in full Lions regalia but how was he kitted out so quickly? Was his blazer, for instance, made to measure or off the peg? Do the Lions have an endless supply of official clothing of all shapes and sizes or were all potential stand-by players measured up in advance of the tour and clothing produced and shipped out just in case? And is this why the tour has cost a reported £££££ million?

I think we should be told.

Tat, utter tat...

I don't know, I go away for a week and what do I return to? News of Mrs Thatcher's demise might dominate the headlines but I'm drawn, like a moth to a flame, to the recent launch of the new England Sevens kit.

The marketing folk at Canterbury and the RFU must genuinely think we're stupid.

Apparently both the home and away kit have been created "with the English rose at the heart of the design using a pixelated image of the iconic rugby emblem." 

The home shirt, we're told, has a "classic look" while the away shirt "offers fans a livelier look to match the entertaining atmosphere at the London Sevens." Seriously.

And, having quaffed their fill of creative juice, those same marketing gurus have launched a ‘Home or Away’ campaign to ask fans to pledge their allegiance to the home or away shirt.

Sadly I suspect that there's no opportunity to choose a "sorry, both kits look shite" option.

No doubt this will fall on deaf ears, but please, please, don't encourage these idiots by taking part in this cynical campaign or by spending your hard-earned cash on this tat.

Gutted

Renowned world famous blogger (ahem!) Total Flanker today hit out at reports that the RFU is considering abandoning its policy of introducing controversial 'away' kits for the England team following the general furore surrounding the latest 'regal purple' outfit worn against Australia in November.

The policy, which in recent years has seen the England team parade around in red, purple, black, 'anthracite' grey and now 'regal purple', has attracted criticism from various quarters, not least from the ageing (and allegedly ex-) backrow forward.

"I'm as sick as a parrot" claimed the portly breakaway. "At least 50 per cent of my output on the blog involves me whingeing on about England's change kit, with the other 50% mostly being about how crap the team is.

"Not only have we beaten New Zealand this week, now the RFU might do the decent thing and restore a bit of pride to the shirt.

"It's an utter disgrace I tell you, what the hell am I going to blog about now?"

Just say no

England's abomination of a change kit has, according to the RFU, accounted for 35 per cent of shirt sales to date this season.

There. You only have yourselves to blame. If you keep buying it, they'll keep selling it.

JUST SAY NO.

Collared!

Glory be!

A rugby shirt that looks like a rugby shirt.

A rugby shirt with a COLLAR.

All hail adidas!

(Now, if we could just lose that sponsor logo...)

Such a shame...

Back to being an old fogey traditionalist and in stark contrast to my last post, I must admit to being disappointed by the news that the iconic All Black shirt will now be adorned with a sponsor's logo.

It's such a shame that commercial reality has finally caught up with the All Blacks who, shirt manufacturer aside, had managed to keep their coveted shirt free from such vulgarity, unlike every other rugby playing nation.

I suppose we should congratulate them really for holding out for so long...

Revealed

And so the wait is over. That famous old British manufacturer, Canterbury of New Zealand, has (following a teaser campaign that had us on the edge of our seats in anticipation) finally revealed its revolutionary new kit design for the England rugby team.

And the verdict? Pleasantly surprised – at least as far as the home kit goes. After all, you can’t go too far wrong with a traditional white shirt, white shorts and navy (or "midnight blue") socks. As ever, I’d have liked a collar but you can’t have everything.

There is, of course, the usual gimmicky nonsense, with the slogan ENGLANDCONNECTED - which "acts as a reminder of the rugby family" - apparently embroidered on the inside of the sleeve.

And no England kit announcement would be complete without the expected ridiculous away kit (this time in a colour that won't show the red wine stains from post-match festivities - somewhat ironically modelled by Danny Care). Officially it's "regal purple" - which according to the RFU "reinforces England's position as a member of rugby royalty". Good grief.

All in all, however, I’d say we’ve dodged a bullet on this one.

Whatever happened to: Proper Rugby Kit?

Those familiar with my inane drivel will confirm that I often get a bee in my bonnet about kit design.

Some might even say that I’m a tad obsessed but it is my submission, m’lord, that it is all with good reason and it seems entirely appropriate that Proper Rugby Kit should make it into my sporadic series of nostalgic ramblings about aspects of the game that appear to have vanished...

When I began playing rugby in 1979 rugby kit had barely changed in 100 years, specifically:

- Heavy cotton rugby shirts, with collar and a couple of buttons down the front, in plain colours, hooped or, for the more avant-garde teams, quartered design. And long sleeves, always long sleeves, so that you could roll them up or (as became the fashion in the 1990s) hack them off with scissors. 

 - Sturdy cotton shorts in plain white, black or navy. With pockets, always with pockets, for storage of gumshield, sweets and cigarettes.

- Cotton/wool socks, plain, topped or, for team that likes to show off, hooped. Socks that didn’t stay up, no matter how many rolls of electrical tape were used.

Club colours and designs remained the same year on year and, despite the occasional embellishment here and there and the appearance of sponsors’ logos as money reared its ugly head, for many years little changed.

And then it did.

Pinpointing when it happened is difficult. Some say the England World Cup team of 2003, others point to the All Blacks in 1999. What is clear though is that now we are left with:

- Skin tight, lycra based, round-necked t-shirts with no collars. Even when not featuring incomprehensibly lurid designs they are invariably festooned with a myriad of sponsor logos and emblems – on the front, on the sleeve, on the back, down the side, on the inside? And short sleeves, always short sleeves, so that anyone wanting long sleeves has to squeeze into an even tighter base layer worn underneath.

- Tight, shiny, genital-hugging shorts, colours to match the t-shirt, which frankly wouldn’t look out of place in a San Francisco nightclub. And no pockets.

- Lycra-infused socks that attach themselves to the calves like clingfilm and take an age to put on and take off.

What next? Aussie-rules style vest and budgie smugglers?

Contrary to popular belief I am not an utter Luddite and do appreciate that the modern professional game needs to move on and that technological advancements in kit design are inevitable (despite unintended consequences like the impossibility of getting a decent bind in the scrum).

Sadly, however, such ‘advancements’ are not limited to the professional game and it has become all too commonplace for the slightly less toned athletes amongst us to have to squeeze into such lycra abominations. There is only so long one can hold one’s breath, after all.

No, rugby kit that fits and looks like proper rugby kit – is that too much to ask?

Tigers get shirty

Tiger! Tiger! burning bright
In the forests of the night,
What immortal hand or eye,
Dare frame thy fearful symmetry?

This, apparently, is the new Leicester Tigers shirt for next season, as designed by new kit partner Canterbury.

I have no real interest in Leicester (other then having played against their Colts team many moons ago) but this is just truly horrible.

And yes, I do see what Canterbury have done by weaving the traditional Leicester colours into ‘Tiger’ stripes - it must have taken at least a few seconds to come up with that stroke of genius.

Canterbury will become England’s kit partner later this year and, on this evidence, the omens are not good.

Nike's Revenge

It appears that Nike's final act as the kit supplier to the RFU has been to stick luminous yellow reflective strips onto the kit of the England Sevens teams.

The new kit, modelled here by Chris Cracknell and Michaela Staniford, will feature at the final two tournaments of the World Series in Glasgow and London next month.

Nike, who will be replaced by Canterbury as England kit supplier from September, look as if they might have the last laugh with this effort - unless, of course, it is all part of a cunning plan by the RFU to play the London Sevens in the dark.

Getting shirty

You know what I was pondering the other day?

I was thinking, “Gosh, hasn’t it been a long time since England last changed their rugby kit design. It’s been, oh, at least 6 months now – surely about time for a change.”

Imagine my relief therefore to read today’s announcement that the RFU have announced a long-term partnership with Canterbury to become their official kit partner from September 2012, ditching Nike in the process.

I think it's fair to say that Nike's designs have been somewhat hit and miss (see above) and I'm hoping for a return to a more traditional kit rather than some silly, generic, panelled Canterbury design as worn by the likes of Scotland and South Africa recently.

I won’t be holding my breath, however.

And another thing...

If the RFU are going to spend zillions commissioing Nike to manufacture state of the art rugby kit, is it too much to insist that the numbers do not start to peel off the shirts at the first sign of the players breaking sweat?

Now you see me...

In an extraordinary turn of events, it emerged today that England have decided to dump both its controversial black change kit AND the traditional white kit for the forthcoming Rugby World Cup.

The decision has been taken following an official protest from the New Zealand Rugby Union relating to the black kit and in response to recent reports which suggest that England’s penalty count dips by 25% when they are not wearing their white kit.

Instead, the RFU have commissioned Nike to produce a camouflage kit for use in all matches during the World Cup.

“We’re very excited about the proposed new kit,” claims an RFU insider. “Our scientific advisers assure us that, with the referees more or less unable to see the players, England’s penalty count will be all but eradicated, which gives us a huge advantage going into the tournament.

“Although the colour white has traditionally been worn by England teams, when you think about it our troops have been going into battle wearing khaki for over 100 years, so we believe the shirt will be a fitting tribute to them. If anything it will be even more traditional than the traditional white shirt.”

The connection with the armed forces doesn’t stop there. The new shirt is said to be made from military grade fabric and will be the strongest shirt that Nike have ever produced whilst also providing improved sweat evaporation, enhanced freedom of movement and superior shape retention. The shirt will also work with the body during exertion to provide compression to support muscles and improve circulation and has a unique 4D grip zone on the chest to enhance ball grip.

Initial tests on the kit in training by the England squad, however, have not been a complete success, with players complaining that they have been unable to locate their colleagues when attempting to pass the ball. Unconfirmed reports suggest that this potential drawback has not affected Mike Tindall’s game in the slightest.

Colour Blind

According to the Grauniad, unofficial stats (which I guess could mean that they are just made up) show that England's penalty count drops by 25% when they wear a shirt colour other than white.

"Interesting" is my middle name.

(Baby it's) All White Now

There are some that might say that I’ve become a tad kit-obsessed.

You’d be disappointed, therefore, if I didn’t at least acknowledge the launch of England’s new rugby kit today.

I may have mentioned previously my general disgust at how the RFU tends to launch a new England kit every 10 minutes but, while I stand by previous comments, I must say that the new all white kit – as white as the driven snow – is a pleasant surprise.

When France launched their new Nike kit for the World Cup, the portents were not good. It does appear, however, that the Nike design team were denied all access to mind-altering substances when given the England brief. Put simply, this is what an England shirt should look like.

Minor Quibbles:

- call me old-fashioned (and many do), but I would have preferred a collar; and

- white socks? The only way is Essex.

Back to Black

The wait is finally over and New Zealand have at last launched their eagerly anticipated new kit for the Rugby World Cup and it's...
...wait for it...

...BLACK (gasp!).

Meanwhile I see that the RFU's mission to wind up sundry Kiwis continues to be a rip-roaring success, with Jonah Lomu this week spouting off about England showing an apparent lack of respect (that word again) by deciding to wear an all black change kit at the RWC.

Frankly I couldn't give a rat's left testicle about whether Lomu or any other rent-a-quote New Zealander is upset by this. What continues to irk me is the contempt in which the RFU obviously holds the England rugby supporter in its seemingly insatiable pursuit of the consumer dollar.

Still, if we continue to buy whatever the RFU tells us to, perhaps we only have ourselves to blame?