9021Over (see what I did there?)

Back to the heights of cutting edge rugby journalism ...

The red tops have been very busy this week with reports that Thom Evans, former Scottish international wing, Kelly Brook-ex and aspiring actor, has split from his American actress girlfriend Jessica Lowndes.

Momentous news, I'm sure you'll agree and if, like me, you'd never heard of Jessica Lowndes, here’s an unapologetically gratuitous picture…

Lowndes

...which is not a whole lot different to...

Brook

Total Flanker: Investigative reporting at its shuddering best.

Cipriani returns to (away) form

Having not been in the media eye for, ooh, at least 5 minutes and having been well and truly outplayed by two anonymous Irish rugby players (possibly in the company of a Welsh one - or not), former great white hope of English rugby, Danny Cipriani, has made a triumphant return to form (at least away from home) and to the front pages of the nation’s tabloids.

Cipriani has, it seems, been thrown out of girlfriend Kelly Brook’s house after she discovered “lewd” and “explicit” texts and photos sent by our Danny to other women on his mobile phone.

He is said to have confessed to The Sun: ''I can't believe what I've done,'' obviously meaning that he really should have remembered to make his password a bit more difficult to decipher.

TOTAL FLANKER - the blunt edge of rugby on the web...

Price is right?

I see that the unfortunately ubiquitous Katie Price has apparently warned ex-beau Danny Cipriani that he has reason to be "s**tting himself" about her forthcoming autobiography, claiming that she has photographs, texts and emails implicating the former great white hope of English rugby.

Cipriani, who is currently once again batting way, way above his average with Kelly Brook, does have the distinction of being one of very few former victims of the pneumatically enhanced model who did not end up fathering a child with her.

No doubt we’ll all be pre-ordering the autobiography which will be available from all good book shops and no doubt a few crap ones too.

TOTAL FLANKER – the cutting edge of rugby journalism...

First blood to England!

The morale of the Scottish rugby team has been dealt a devastating blow ahead of the weekend's Calcutta Cup clash at Twickenhan by the news that former Scots winger Thom Evans has split with model and (ahem) actress, Kelly Brook.

According to that bastion of truth, The Sun, Evans was forced to call it a day with the buxom star of Piranha 3D following Ms Brook’s refusal to stop seeing her former beau, ex-England no. 10 Danny Cipriani.

Cipriani, for whom little has gone right since his relocation to Sale Sharks this season, is said to be hopeful that this episode will catapult him back into Staurt Lancaster's Six Nations plans...