The Edge

The England rugby team is fit.

As fit, in fact, as a butcher’s dog playing a fiddle on a treadmill. They are that fit. It’s official.

James Haskell

Everyone says so, the national press, the tv commentators, the players, the coaches. They are so fit that they expect to outlast any opposition they play, especially the French whose training obviously consists of 10 minutes touch rugby before retiring to a café for pastis and gauloises.

Not so our English lads who could run, tackle and ruck all day and all night if necessary, thanks to the brilliant work being done by former British Cycling sports science guru Matt Parker who clearly gives the England players the edge.

Last year England didn’t have the edge. Last year, and the year before that at the World Cup, Wales had the edge. Wales discovered the edge whilst freezing their collective bollocks off in a cryotherapy chamber in Poland. This year Wales didn’t go to Poland, so have lost the edge, although it might be argued that they mislaid the edge when they went to Poland before last year’s November internationals, when they clearly didn’t have the edge.

England didn’t go to Poland to find the edge. They found it Surrey.